Change is as natural as the seasons changing, and in this post, I will share how I cope with change in a healthy way. I will be mainly drawing upon lessons that I learnt over the last year. The pandemic is probably the most significant change that my generation in the West has experienced. In addition, I will be drawing upon experiences that I have had over the last few months that have helped crystalise my thinking on how to cope with change.
I thought that this would be a helpful exercise, as the pandemic will most likely not be the last significant change in my lifetime. As well as, I think the different ways will also help you, the reader, on a daily basis to cope with change.
To start, I want to begin by saying that I think the more we try to resist change, the worst it gets – it is a bit like complaining about the weather when you live in a country where it often rains. In so many ways, it isn’t very sensible or helpful. Because when we try to resist change, we give away the power to create our happiness to our circumstances.
I am not very into that.
My mantra to cope with change
A mantra that I have been replaying in my mind lately is that you can either ride the wave of change or get off the wave. In my experience, I have seen that when people are going through change, they forget that they have a choice. For example, we do not have to stay in a relationship that is not working anymore, and we can change jobs and move to another place. I’m not saying it will be easy, nor that it should be our first port of call to leave, but I think it is essential that we remember we always have a choice.
Of course, when you have children, a mortgage, etc., everything becomes more challenging, but we can always make choices that incrementally move us in a better direction.
Every little step helps.
My personal pep-talk to cope with change
In addition to that mantra, I recently needed to have a bit of a pep-talk with myself. I was finding myself complaining about some parts of my circumstances; I forgot that I have a choice.
The pep-talk ran something like this: I had to tell myself, ‘I am choosing to do x y z’ and ‘I get to do x y z’. When I started writing that down and repeating it to myself, something powerful happened. I found that I was becoming calmer, and I had more sense of direction again because I took more ownership of my choices.
The thing with ‘choosing’ to do something is that this also comes with accountability. To hold ourselves accountable and take responsibility instead of blaming other people can be very uncomfortable. Humans seemingly do not want to do that easily. We need to work against that seemingly natural urge and practice extreme ownership to cope with change in a more healthy way.
I am currently reading The Comfort Crisis: Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild, Happy, Healthy Self by Michael Easter, and it is resonating with me a lot. The book talks about how we have become overly comfortable, and as a result, we are less capable to cope with change in a healthy way. I think we need to intentionally make ourselves feel uncomfortable so that we can cope with it more healthily when real change happens.
I do that by practicing CrossFit, do public speaking and I am looking at doing some outdoors adventures that can put me outside of my comfort zone. Even doing CrossFit can get a bit too comfortable sometimes when you get used to the intensity.
As this post started, change is as natural as the seasons changing. Therefore, to cope with change in a healthy way, I have established a set of solid wellbeing pillars in my life to make sure that I can cope with change in a healthy way.
My pillars to cope with change in a healthy way:
- Have clear goals and objectives
- Know my values
- Have a clear sense of purpose and meaning
- Meditate x 2 a day
- Exercise x 5 a week
- I use crystals to heal my aura and chakra
- Have meaningful connections with other people
- Structure my day (to-do lists and block out time)
- Intentionally choose what I do
- Have clear boundaries and honour them
- Read books
- Get 8h+ of sleep
- Eat healthy food
- Reduce time on social media
- Decrease how much I read the news
- Have a positive impact on other people
- Connect with my spiritual guides and past lives
- Work with a coach/time to think partner
- I actively step outside my comfort zone
- I have let go of FOMO
- I have come comfortable with being alone
- Go for walks in nature
As you can see, some of these approaches are spiritual, whilst others are more physical. I do not think we can prod at our wellbeing from only one angle. To flourish as human beings, we need to address our wellbeing from many different angles.
To end this post, I want to say that almost nothing of the list above ‘just happened’. I had to make it a priority and give all of that time. Instead of giving away my time to useless reality shows on Netflix. Don’t get me wrong, I watch Netflix too, but that is only a few hours on the weekend.
One final note, I am not telling you to become me. You have to figure out what works for you; at the same time, if your wellbeing is not going very well and you are not doing any preventative measures, you can begin to understand why.
PS: If you are struggling with severe physical and mental health issues, please reach out to your GP.
PPS: These reflections are not final, and are my personal ones. So they may change in the future.
To start your journey towards greater wellbeing, and cope with change in a healthy way you can work with me in a couple of different ways.
In-person 1:1 Crystal Healing at Oru Space or at your home
In-person Guided Meditation class at Oru Space (5.30 PM on Wednesday’s and 1 PM on Sundays)
1:1 Spiritual Coaching Programme via Zoom
Join the waitlist for the next Intuition Development Circle
Start practising meditation by yourself
You can either email me on hello(at)tornjamo.com or head over to the book me page.